Strip Clubs of Jo’burg and the Bars of Kolkata

The difference between the strip club in Johannesburg and the bar in Kolkata is that of transparency. While the ‘sleazy’ part is handled with care and passion and yet there is no air of artificiality about it in the former, the latter defines the word.

A strip club! What it means to a pair of Indian ears is sleaze. Deceit and illicit affairs. While in reality it’s different. A strip club is part of mainstream culture and mainstream is the word underlined here. Married couples unwind here, enjoying the music, beat and most importantly, positive energy all around. Married women hold out 100 Rand bills with the help of their lips for the dancers sans a single piece of cloth and their husbands seem to genuinely appreciate the gesture. Not like the 100 Rupee bills in Kolkata, the whereabouts of which are completely unknown to the wives.

Oh yes. More importantly, the strip clubs of Jo’burg don’t play the ‘choicest’ of numbers like the ones played or performed in the bars of Kolkata. Contrary to prevalent concepts, the strip clubs play tracks that are popular and the dancers act them out. They perform to the words, calling on the audience to join in the celebration of poetry, music and above all life. All with a delightful mastery called professionalism.

The dancers are friendly and are more than able to differentiate between an authentic compliment and a comment adulterated with sexual connotations.

I guess it’s a proven fact that women of the world form the smartest lot in the planet and one doesn’t really have to be a dancer to master the art.

The DJ is groovy, funny and always on the ball. He calls it a day and only he can take the call with witty statements with an air of finality about them. ‘Lovely ladies and gentlemen, the club is closed. Please go home and make lovely kids.’ This is usually after 4 o’ clock, after at least 5 hours of serious partying.

It is of course a sex shop where one can buy half-an-hour pleasure for 200 Rands. And there is no facade. It’s run openly and professionally. The word T-R-A-N-S-P-A-R-E-N-C-Y is written in bold letters all over it.

On the other hand, the bars of Kolkata don’t indulge in ‘unlawful activities’. They serve alcohol till the time the government allows and employ ugly singers to entertain the clients. The women are usually overweight, loud, look a little smarter than domestic helps and can’t say ‘do’ from ‘me’. Nobody in his right mind can think of such an existence outside the four walls of a Kolkata bar, dimly lit, inviting you to someone’s idea of ‘the other world’, created with all that stand no possibility of existing in the real world of a sane man. A couple of drinks and the atmosphere assures to do the rest. While a strip club in Jo’burg can make you drink and forget about the last beer.

Nobody in his right mind can get an erection looking at those horribly ugly women of the Kolkata bars.

Yet there’s an air of secrecy about the Kolkata bars. The waiters move about with an attitude. Something that tells you, they are associated with something ‘important’. To take care of others’ illicit pleasures. Something that their parents couldn’t even dream for them. While the waiter in a Jo’burg strip club reminds you all the time with utmost humility that his is the most boring job and he wants to be the most unassuming character around. He has no other motto in life other than serving you alcohol.

When will we grow up? When will we be free enough to be ourselves?