Film Reviews: How Reliable are They?

Movie reviews became interesting once I discovered Khalid Mohammad’s style of writing. It took me less than three weeks to find out that Mohammad was an amazing writer and three months to figure out that he knew jackshit of movies.

I don't remember a single flick that wasn't criticised by Mohammad and when he directed his first movie, I obviously thought it would be one of the most out-of-the-world experiences. Hindi movies coming of age and stuff. Fiza, Mohammad's first film and a Karishma Kapoor starrer turned out to be really depressing. Imagine Karishma Kapoor and still a dud!

Mohammad's credibility diminished in my eyes. I would still read a moview review, written by him. I would still appreciate his style of writing but won't take a call on the movie.

The problem with Mohammad or conversely, us readers is that we pay at least a little bit of heed to the subject-matter of a non-fiction article, a movie review in this case. But for someone like Mohammad, it's all about style. He is a brilliant juggler of words, but of no use to those, who are looking for reliable information. If I remember correctly, Mohammad didn't have very kind words for Dil Chahta Hai and I don't remember the reasons behind it. As in, I am not trying to hint at something going wrong between Mohammad or Times of India (his reviews were published in TOI those days) and the makers of DCH. I meant the reasons (if any) why DCH was not a decent watch, put forward by Mohammad in the review.

Recently I saw two movies and subsequently, read the reviews. It made me wonder how reliable these reviews were. Rocket Singh, salesman of the year, reviewed by Taran adarsh and 3 idiots, reviewed by Raja Sen. Both the critics seemed convinced that these movies didn’t have much to offer to the audience. I, on the other hand thought, they were amazing and poignant.

First things first. What do we expect from a film review? An honest, personal opinion that’s substantiated by sound logic as regards whether the critic liked the flick or not and why or a lame guess at the box office returns of the film?

Now, I believe that no sane person would have suggested that Gadar was a decent watch in the 21st Century but it still did amazingly well. So, we know it for a fact that a critic can’t predict the box office returns of a particular movie and we don’t expect a prediction. We expect an opinion.

This is where the critics fail. Sen must be feeling like a stupidass or a little more pompous as quite opposite to his predictions, idiots have broken all records in less than 5 days after he predicted it to be a dud. Rocket Singh, I believe hasn’t done well but at the same time I’m quite sure that the urban audience would love it. Adarsh thought that they would hate it as there wasn’t even a single song. I don’t know why. I think only country bumpkins expect songs to make a movie seem worth a watch and I didn’t expect Adarsh to be one.

As for Rocket Singh, I thought it was an amazing movie. It was different (and I mean it) and it announced the arrival of one of the most natural actors in the country today who has successfully taken the myth that good looking guys are worthless by its horn. Ranbir Kapoor portrayed the role of a quintessential Sardar with panache and made it evident that Saif Ali Khan or Akshay Kumar or Sunny Deol wearing a turban looked anything but a Sardar. The film had an amazing supporting cast and an outta-the-world story. It dealt with ambitions and yet didn’t go overboard even once.

No one knows which flick would do well and why. The least the critics could do is understand their locus standi. It’s that of a sensible viewer who can write. Nothing more, nothing less.